Top 7 explanations for Trudeau's FATFACE - Ask Abe

Top 7 explanations for Trudeau's FATFACE

                                                            Current Pic on left         Pre-Pandemic Pic on right

1. He ate Sophie.

Many have noticed that Trudeau and Sophie have stopped making public appearances as a couple. I think all of this speculation of an impending divorce is missing the bigger, and more obvious explanation: That Trudeau was hungry and ate Sophie. The proof is in his face!

2. Stupidity.

Trudeau is globally recognized as a fathead. It is likely that his fat face is an overt outer reflection of this inner reality. Where dogs and owners begin to look like one another, Trudeau and stupid are siamese twins.

3. Ego.

This axiom holds true: `Chocolate goes to your hips, and pride goes to your head’. It's the second part of that old tidbit of wisdom that I’d like to pull into focus, for in regards to Justin Trudeau, I've seldom seen someone more narcissistic and self-absorbed. So his fat face is being caused by his over inflated head.

4. Weed.

Weed gives you the munchies. And Trudeau is a rampant pothead that appears to live in his own basement. This makes me curious though, if marijuana makes one paranoid of "the man", or the government, or the authorities ... and Trudeau is now "the man", the top authority in Canada outside the Queen and her representative ... Does Trudeau stay up a night and worry about himself?! Does he worry that he's out to get himself?! 

Whether he's paranoid or not: He is seedy, and weedy, and that makes him feedy. Quod erat demonstrandum!!

5. The Vaxxxx

Perhaps his fat face is a side effect of getting the Covid jab! We do know that Justin's period was also affected by the prick (the prick being the vaccination needle, not Justin himself; I do see how that could be confusing). 

This is not Covid misinformation. So fb / CBC fact-checkers that contend with the allegation that the vaccination can affect a woman's monthly cycle, need to take a valium ... or do you deny that Trudeau previously suspended Parliament’s question period over Covid concerns? So there you have it, Covid made Justin miss his period!

6. Genetics.

Perhaps Justin is beginning to look more like his step father, Pierre Trudeau (‘cuz we all know Castro is his real dad).

7. An allergic reaction to shoe polish.  

If he did it in the past, he's likely still doing it in the present (in private). See here. 

 

I don’t know why I bothered with the list when we all know that he literally ate Sophie!

Vote for which you think is true in the Comments!

Ask ABE.