1. Gift: A lump of coal. Once a gift reserved for naughty children, it is now, because of the ever-increasing carbon tax, worth more than gold.
2. Gift: A picture of a car. As a consequence of Trudeau banning fossil fuel vehicles, the government no longer had to subsidize electric cars to make them competitive, thus increasing their price. The result is that no one can afford an electric car. So a picture is the closest you’ll get to owning one.
3. Gift: A horse. Because of #2.
4. Christmas is rebranded to be more gender fluid: The Bethlehem story now takes place in Transylvania.
5. Door-to-door carolers dress like call-girls and are mandated to only sing “don we now our gay apparel”, which you must, or you’ll be fined.
6. Christmas lights are replaced with rainbows. And Santa yard blowups are replaced with … well, you don’t want to know what they're replaced with.
7. X-mas is now mandated to be called XXX-mas, to go with the cold carolers in leather chaps.
8. Gift: Free Covid shots, because Covid never goes away, despite the government’s insistence that the vax works so well.
9. Gift: Free blood clots, because … well … see #8.
10. A CBC special featuring the Trudeau talking about his stockings for 3 hours with CBC staff oohing and ahhing over his every utterance.
And because I can’t count, here are another nine!!!
11. More military aid for Ukraine. Because … they’re still beating Russia, 10 years later.
12. Gift: Canadian dollars for toilet paper. ‘Cuz that’s the only thing they’re worth using for now.
13. Gift: A federal cosplay kit to look like our esteemed leader, Justin Trudeau. Kit contains a can of black shoe polish and application directions – the premium kit also includes a sausage and 80s jeans.
14. A replica turkey made of premium Bill Gates processed bugs. Because farming is dead due to the Nitrogen tax and meat is now against the law.
15. Gift: A Government of Canada gift certificate for a family pack of free Euthanasia. Which is a crappy gift, ‘cuz it’s already free.
16. Santa Claus is replaced with Klaus Schwab.
Ask Abe.
Comments
Post a Comment